It takes so long to heal after you've been hurt.
No matter how many guys romance you and do the things you wish your ex did, you just feel an empty dullness lurching in our stomach from within. Its just not the same, you haven't fully recovered yet.
The anger you feel slowly diminishes away, you get over it, he's with someone else who he loves so much more than you, who he treats much better, You feel distraught, it just built up within.. I don't know, I left all my anger in a tiny corner of my mind and somehow tonight its just overfilled and exploded. I do make a big deal out of tiny things, but I just kept thinking of all the things we did together that brought so much happiness, and yet, reality shows that underneath surfaced no meaning to it at all.
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isn't it such a turn off when guys try too hard?
its just ugh.
everything i thought i wanted in a guy is presented to me. Someone full of surprises, takes you out to nice places to eat, thinks of you all day, sticks to his word, does things out of niceness.. But its just too much too soon..
We all want something we don't have.. thats what makes us happy.. when it dangles in front of us for some time, we try to catch it for a while and when we do, we're as happiest as can be. Its the chase. We all love the chase admit it or not.
when guys try too hard its just a turn off. it devalues them.. well i feel that way.. its hard to appreciate the things they do for you, i think the only real way of truly appreciating it is if you have to work for it.
=) oh and a note.. and a small update.. guys never change.. people never change.. no matter how hard you try to change them.
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There might be some things about your partner that really tick you off that you just wished they could change! Minor problems such as not washing the dishes, not putting the toilet seat back down or just general bad habits.
In Sex and the City, Charlotte had a 'teabag situation' problem with Harry who had just moved in, he would leave teabags around the house and she would have to pick up after him.. Miranda had a problem with Steve's dirty laundry that had 'skidmarks' that she had to clean up after him.. and yet, they handled their problems well and in the end potentially are the ideal men for them.
Rachel, confronted me with a problem concerning her boyfriend Michael.. "I find it really disturbing when guys don't shave after the 3rd day and I keep telling Michael to shave but he doesn't bother.. I want him to dress up nicely for special occasions, but he wouldn't on my birthday.. I'm just going to wait to see if he surprises me on our one year anniversary" He sounds like a slob to me who needs coaching on how to romance a lady. I'm sure that if a guy liked a girl enough, he would do anything to make her happy. Perhaps Michael is just a guy who'd prefer a casual relationship and Rachel needs a bf who is a bit more cliche.
Its hard to not want to change some things in your partner.. It is nice to accept them for who they are and to love them for that, but if the little things bug you then you either have three choices: leave them, tolerate, or change them.
I guess those are minor details that you can change in your partner to mould them into your ideal. I'm not too sure about the larger problems.. If they're depressed all the time, brighten up their lives and perhaps they will do the same to you.. If they're insecure of you, secure them by telling them you love them and show them that you care.. If they have a problem with you going out with your friends, knock some sense into their head and make them understand you..
Its a bit tough at first, but you'll succeed, they'll understand, and you'll have the ideal hassle-free relationship you were looking for.
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Sharon Toh
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