Sharon Tohthe future
July 23rd 2006 08:04
how painful is thinking about the future when you're about to break up!
The future of every relationship is uncertain, I really advise for any successful relationship to refrain from talking about the future. But then again I guess that is what a long-term relationship is based on right?
Its just so painful when you reflect back to all the good times you had with that person, and all the conversations you's had regarding the future.. conversations such as, finding a home to live in, places to go holidays together with, things to do with each other.. etc etc
Perhaps you all see me as a confused naive adolescent.. I've talked to older people about relationships and the problems that I'm talking about are miniscule. One person talked about splitting the value of this house her and her ex-fiance had bought because she realised that she was with the wrong person after 6 years. 6 YEARS!! She must have gone through alot of thought to have given him up. They had actually DONE something about their future (ie. bought a house together) and thrown it away. I'm just lamenting the thought of throwing away shared thoughts of the future.
But then, the future is what holds a relationship together.. You may stay with someone because you believe you have a good future together (Apart from love). I know it sounds selfish, but its true. If you love someone you'd want to marry them, you'd want their babies, you would want everything that couples in love do. Don't tell me that you would spend the rest of your life loving someone if they didn't want to marry you.. that's just obsession. Love isn't exactly completely from the heart.. Its from the head too.
I say, focus on the present. Don't talk about the future. Do something about it. It becomes too uncertain and ends up in heartbreak if things don't turn out the way you wanted them to.
The future of every relationship is uncertain, I really advise for any successful relationship to refrain from talking about the future. But then again I guess that is what a long-term relationship is based on right?
Its just so painful when you reflect back to all the good times you had with that person, and all the conversations you's had regarding the future.. conversations such as, finding a home to live in, places to go holidays together with, things to do with each other.. etc etc
Perhaps you all see me as a confused naive adolescent.. I've talked to older people about relationships and the problems that I'm talking about are miniscule. One person talked about splitting the value of this house her and her ex-fiance had bought because she realised that she was with the wrong person after 6 years. 6 YEARS!! She must have gone through alot of thought to have given him up. They had actually DONE something about their future (ie. bought a house together) and thrown it away. I'm just lamenting the thought of throwing away shared thoughts of the future.
But then, the future is what holds a relationship together.. You may stay with someone because you believe you have a good future together (Apart from love). I know it sounds selfish, but its true. If you love someone you'd want to marry them, you'd want their babies, you would want everything that couples in love do. Don't tell me that you would spend the rest of your life loving someone if they didn't want to marry you.. that's just obsession. Love isn't exactly completely from the heart.. Its from the head too.
I say, focus on the present. Don't talk about the future. Do something about it. It becomes too uncertain and ends up in heartbreak if things don't turn out the way you wanted them to.
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Comment by Cibbuano
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Comment by Heej
Dota Stars
I suppose it depends on what you want out of a relationship...
If you're in one just for the fact of being in one, then nothing needs to matter but the present. But if you're in one out of love or affection, then the future is all that matters. I don't see the point of being in a relationship if a future break-up is forseeable. If you know that you don't have a future with that person, why would you stay with them?
But then again, I guess it depends on the experiences you've had. If you've experienced heart-break, then it's natural for one to fear the future, and hence better to just focus on the present. However, perhaps that could be another way of lining up for a heart-break. By not thinking about the future and considering where the relationship is going...
For me personally, I want to be in a relationship where both parties know exactly what's going on. I think uncertainty and the anxiety that comes from uncertainty causes heart-break...
-Heej-
Comment by Stanley